Weird Things I’ve Done For Money: Been “That” Couple

Posted: March 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

That Couple 1

Two of my friends at Adam Alexsander Presents were planning an afterparty, the theme of which was  that the party was already over. Guests would show up, and the room would already be trashed; drugs on the tables, confetti on the floor, and those few drunk assholes that are always there at the end of a party.

I’m proud to say that I was one of those assholes

The performers were hired to be the drunk/drugged out conspiracy theorist, the teenager who managed to sneak in, the creep that’s hitting on the teenager, the passed out drunk girl, and the couple that keeps making out and fighting and making out again. I saw the casting call an immediately called my boyfriend to see if he’d be THAT Couple with me. He’s not really a performer but he likes performing and will usually go along with whatever crazy bullshit I pull him into. Also, he likes getting paid as much as the next person.

We didn’t so much have a script, rather description of our general tone (Fight! Make out! Pretend to fuck in the bathroom!) and the knowledge that when the signal was given we’d throw cake at each other, then eat it off each other, and then retire to a hotel room to shower off. So I pulled on my most washable party dress and we showed up.

This was easily one of the funnest jobs in my life. I love acting and don’t get a chance to do it very often. I’m an asshole even less often. I try not to bother people. Unless actively performing, I try not to bring attention to myself. But that night I had cart blanche to do whatever the fuck I wanted, as long as it was in character and over the top. And over the top we went. We screamed at each other. We made out like crazed weasels. I threw not one, but TWO drinks in my boyfriend’s face. The third time I tried to throw a drink at him, he grabbed my hand, so I just spit my drink in his face. It was a magical evening. Some people were in on the joke but I think plenty of people legitimately thought we were just drunk assholes. And a few guys hit on me.

Someone even tried to break up our final fight but he got out of the way pretty damn fast when I grabbed a fistful of cake.

That Couple 2

Even better, this was an afterparty for the opening of a huge art retrospective with super important art people. I wasn’t wearing my glasses and couldn’t see anyone so I *may* have thrown cake at Chuck Close or Jack Nicholson.

But what I’m most happy about is that the atmosphere characters really made the party. Having people acting spectacularly drunk actually encouraged everyone to loosen up and drink more (It’s not like they were going to embarrass themselves. Not while *we* were around.) We managed to convince people that they were drunker than they were, that it was later than it was, and made the night a lot more fun for everyone.

That Couple 3

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