Creative Slumming

Posted: March 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hello darlings,

I’ve been terrible at updating but doing a wonderful job at keeping busy.  I’m trying to post more but I’ve been setting goals that are too high for myself.  Now, I’m trying to take baby steps.

Baby step#1 Writing about Lady Gaga.

Everyone’s writing about her new video so here I am to jump on the band wagon because I love writing about performances and critiquing performances, but if I criticize my peer’s performances on the internet A: Only a few of you will know what I’m talking about and B: someone might get hurt/mad/cut a bitch and I do not wish to hurt, anger, or get cut by my friends and colleagues.  So the only critiques I post will be of celebrities or glowing love letters to my dear and talented friends.

Anywho, Lady Gaga has a new video.  On the off chance you haven’t seen it, here it is.

Dude, it is long.  Unnecessarily so.

It’s already been critiqued from various political angles so I’m just going to say how I felt about it from a performance point of view.  In a word, I’m disappointed.  Not because it’s a terrible video.  In the grand scheme of music videos, there are way worse videos out there.  I’m disappointed because I just fell in love with this:

I totally want to lick this video.  Then roll around in it and rub it all over my body.

I preface all this by saying I don’t know Lady Gaga and am well aware of the fact that her videos may have nothing to do with her and have everything to do with her publicist/stylist/whatever.  I am operating under the, perhaps naive, assumption that she is in charge of her entire oeuvre.  Mostly for the purposes of this post and also because people more knowledgeable about such things have intimated such things.

What was great about the Bad Romance video was that it felt unique and, in a way, very personal.  It felt like she projecting a dream directly from her head to our eyes.  It felt personal in the way that all good art is personal; it said
“Hello viewer, this is the inside of my head, take a look around.”

And, like any good performance, it said
“This the me-inside-my-head.  Sometimes the me-inside-my-head looks like a jewel encrusted lobster and I could be ridiculed for showing you this but I think it’s awesome and I hope you do, too.”

And I was like

“YES!  THIS!  I want to do this!  I, too, want to show the world the me-inside-my-head and have her covered in ridiculously expensive costumes and also light things on fire and have clothes the could eat people.”

So a new Lady Gaga video came out and I was like

“Awesome!  Another trip into Lady Gaga’s head.  I like it there.”  and instead it took a wrong turn and ended up in Quentin Tarantino’s head with a few tweaks, fashionwise.  and I wasn’t excited the last, or any other, time that I went to Quentin Tarantino’s head.”

I distinctly remember thinking

“Wow Quentin Tarantino, you’ve seen way too many of the same, not very good to begin with, movies and also you’re not very creative.  I’m sorry.  It looks pretty.”

So watching telephone I’m like

“Lady Gaga!  I expected better from you.  You ARE creative.  And if you watch too many movies, I suspect them to be The Cremaster cycle.  What are you doing slumming it in Quentin Tarantino’s head?  and, worse, why are you making us watch it?  Shame on you Gaga!  You are better than this.”

Also, one of the things I really liked about Lady Gaga was that she was weird FIRST and the sexiness she had (awesome though it was) was sort of a secondary side effect of her awesome weirdness.  So having her be sexy in this really obvious, derivative, performative, way seems like she’s conforming to the mold that every damn popstar fits into, which is annoying.

So, what have I learned from this?

Irony and kitch is way overused and irritatingly boring.  Especially when you’ve already shown people that you can do something unique and interesting.

Be sexy in the way that YOU are sexy, not the way you think people want to see you be sexy.

If you’re trying to make fun of something, make sure it’s a mockery and not an imitation.

Please don’t copy a copy of something that wasn’t very good to begin with.

and , of course,
OMG I want luxurious clothes that look like they could eat somebody.
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